There’s a question I ask every client at some point. It doesn’t come with a warning. But when it lands, it lands.
Do you actually want your current job/role/situation/etc., or have you just gotten really good at tolerating where you are?
Most people pause. Because if they’re honest, they know the answer.
I worked with a client who had what most people would call a great job – good money, strong title, solid team, real flexibility. On paper? Enviable! But she kept watching colleagues get opportunities she’d gone after, repeatedly and vocally. Promises got dangled. Conversations happened. And then…nothing. She loved a lot about the role, which made it harder to leave. That’s the trap: enough good to stay, just enough wrong to slowly erode you.
She stayed. Until she didn’t.
She hired me for 1:1 coaching and did the real work. We got aligned on her values, she rebuilt trust in herself and she learned to own her worth without over-qualifying it. And then she made the move! Today she has everything her old job had, but better. Better title, more money, a company that actually sees her and enough flexibility to finally be present for her family the way she wanted to be.
She didn’t get lucky. It happened because she stopped tolerating and started deciding.
Here’s what tolerating actually costs you. Every day you stay in an environment that isn’t honoring your value, you internalize the message. Your confidence erodes. You start doubting your own read on things. And a year goes by. Then two.
According to Gallup, nearly half of people who dislike their jobs stay anyway, citing financial stability. The math feels too risky. The benefits are too good. The title took too long to earn.
But here’s the real question: what is staying costing you in terms of who you’re becoming?
Ask yourself: Has your confidence gone up or down in this environment? Are you making moves or making excuses? If your best friend came to you with your exact situation, what would you tell him?
Don’t look away from the answers.
Leaving isn’t always the answer, and the how matters. But tolerating is not the same as being strategic. It’s a coping mechanism that we call patience.
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WANT MORE. You are allowed to expect an environment that delivers on what it promises. And you are allowed to decide that feeling consistently undervalued isn’t something to manage. It’s something to SOLVE.
Ready to stop tolerating and start deciding? Book a free discovery call here →https://shaynabergman.com/discovery-call/