I see managers, leaders, mentors and even coaches get this wrong all the time. They’re approached by someone seeking help, so they reactively start talking/advising/teaching/consulting/blah blah blah.
There’s a time and a place for talking/teaching/telling, but if you truly want to empower someone else, then LET THEM SPEAK.
Want to give good advice? ASK QUESTIONS.
Telling someone what to do or how to do it often isn’t the best way to help them change and grow.
That’s why coaching can be so transformative, and why as a leader, you have the ability to use this skill with your team in order to affect significant change. Ask empowering questions. Listen deeply. Reflect back what you’re hearing. With time and practice, you may even learn how to offer observations of thought-patterns. Challenge their limiting beliefs, assumptions and interpretations. Start them on the journey of discovering and then quieting their inner critics (here’s how to start doing this now).
Don’t tell them how to solve a problem. Rather, give them the space to discover the solution on their own.
It often leads to change that is sustainable, not situational.
As a coach, I have no agenda in my clients’ transformations, other than helping them get where they want to go faster and with more ease. How can you bring this way of thinking into your own conversations?
Curiosity is an amazingly powerful tool.
So. Let me ask you something.
When was the last time you gave yourself space, to really examine what you want and what’s holding you back?