Years ago, a boss once told me, “I think people may think that your joy and happiness is phony. You should be more genuine.”
I remember feeling completely taken aback. Genuine? I thought. This is who I am. I asked him for examples, trying to understand what he was really getting at. But his responses were vague and unsatisfying, almost like he couldn’t grasp the idea that someone’s default state could simply be joyful. And yes, he got a very “genuine” response from me in that moment—my respect for him slipped away, and my frustration with his judgment showed.
I’ve thought about that conversation a lot over the years, not because I agreed with him, but because it made me realize that staying true to myself isn’t always about meeting others’ expectations. It’s about navigating my life in a way that feels authentic to me, even when it doesn’t match how others think I should show up.
Why am I sharing this story? Because people often ask me how I manage it all—how I stay grounded, find joy, and keep my head on straight amid the chaos of parenting, running a business, and everything in between. And honestly, the way I approach my life often overlaps with how I coach my clients, helping them find their own version of balance and fulfillment.
So here’s a glimpse into what works for me:
- Accepting I’m a Work in Progress: I’m not here to pretend I have all the answers. I’m learning and evolving, just like everyone else. What matters is that I’m always willing to grow and discover what helps me be my best self. That’s what I bring to my clients, too—the understanding that their journey is just as unique and evolving.
- Embracing Tough Emotions: I don’t shy away from the messier parts of life. When things get hard, I let those feelings come. I sit with them, I get curious about what they’re trying to tell me, and I use that understanding to move forward. It’s the same perspective I offer my clients when they feel stuck or overwhelmed—an invitation to lean into the discomfort instead of running from it.
- Setting Boundaries: Boundaries are my lifeline. I’ve learned to get clear on what I will and won’t accept in my life. I can’t control others, but I can protect my values by setting boundaries, even if it makes some people uncomfortable. I help my clients do the same because defining those lines often leads to freedom they didn’t know they needed.
- Choosing Intention Over Fear: Fear is always there, whispering its doubts, but I don’t let it drive my decisions. I act from a place of intention because that’s how I keep moving forward, how I create impact. This mindset shift is something I encourage in my coaching, guiding people to replace their “what ifs” with “what next?”
- Silencing the Inner Critic: I talk to myself the way I would talk to someone I love—kindly, with patience and respect. And when others don’t do the same, I address it head-on because my self-worth matters. Teaching my clients to quiet their inner critic and speak to themselves with the same compassion is a core part of my approach.
- Leaning on Support: I have a coach, a therapist, my friends, family, and my husband, who’s my rock at home. We tag each other in when life gets tough, and that’s what makes it all possible. I encourage my clients to build a strong support network because it’s essential to sustaining growth and resilience.
I’m not sharing these steps as some one-size-fits-all solution, but because they’re part of how I navigate my own path. They’re also what I offer to my clients as we work through their unique challenges.
The truth is, sometimes my writing comes from themes I notice in my clients, sometimes from my own life, and sometimes suggestions you’ve sent me. This post is all three. If you’ve ever felt like you need to show up a certain way for others, or struggled with how to navigate it all without losing yourself in the process, know that you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, figuring it out day by day, just like everyone else.
So here’s to the messy, joyful, challenging journey of making it all work. Whether you’re leading at home, at work, or both, my hope is that you find your own way to navigate life’s demands while staying true to who you are.