I got asked this on a podcast recently and I knew as soon as I was asked – I had to share it.
“How do people move into action?”
Not think about it. Actually move.
Here’s what I know to be true. You need one of two things before you make a real change. Either pain shows up, or reflection does. Nobody wakes up on a random Tuesday and overhauls their life for no reason.
If you know my work, you know I talk about the three A’s constantly. Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
Awareness is everything, because once you see something you cannot unsee it (a gift, also extremely annoying). But nobody stumbles into Awareness on their own. Something has to crack that door open, and it’s almost always pain or reflection.
Pain is the loud one and often the one we dread. The divorce. The heart attack. The phone call that changes everything. It forces action because you can’t argue with it anymore. But it’s expensive and it can cost you years, relationships, health…all the stuff you don’t get back.
Reflection is quieter, and you get to choose it before life forces your hand. That’s what I want for you. For you to choose. A walk without your phone. Therapy. A friend who listens instead of waiting for their turn to talk (Rare! Treasure that person!). A coach who asks the question you’ve been dodging. It just takes getting off the hamster wheel long enough to hear your own thoughts.
I lived it. When I left the Big 4 to build my own business, I had awareness, and some pain, too – but it was the kind you get so used to you forget and barely realize it’s there. For me, it took one more exchange that broke the camel’s back for that pain to finally register as pain I couldn’t keep ignoring. That’s when Awareness, Acceptance, and Action happened back to back to back (for me).
Looking back, I wish I’d given myself the walk first. The coaching conversation — before the one that forced my hand. I didn’t, and I made the leap anyway. I want that easier path for you.
Reflection in real life can look like:
- Twenty phone-free minutes, zero agenda. Just be.
- Find the one person who listens instead of fixing.
- Ask what you’d tell a friend in your exact situation.
- Get support before the crisis, not after.
- Notice what you’re tolerating. Tolerating isn’t fine.
You get to pick your door. Pain will find you eventually if you wait long enough. It always does. Reflection is the one you get to walk through on your own terms.
If you’re a parent running a household and a team and somehow never stopping to breathe, hear me on this one. This is your permission slip. Take the walk. Have the hard conversation. Choose reflection before pain makes the choice for you.
Change doesn’t require a crisis. It just requires you to stop moving long enough to actually look.