I’m going to tell you something about leadership you may not have realized.
The more senior you become, the less feedback you get.
Not better feedback. Not more nuanced feedback. Just less.
Early in your career, people tell you everything. What worked. What didn’t. What to fix. What to try again. And then you rise.
You lead bigger teams. You make bigger decisions. You hold more power.
And people get quieter.
Not because you’re perfect. Rather, they assume you already know. Or they don’t want to challenge you. Or it feels risky to be honest.
And so the feedback gap widens.
For parents in leadership roles, this can feel especially disorienting. You’re already carrying a lot at work and at home – and now you’re leading without any mirrors. So you start guessing. Replaying conversations. Filling in the blanks yourself.
Silence can either feel like confidence. Or it can feel lonely. And sometimes it’s both.
What I see on repeat? Senior leaders don’t stop needing feedback. They just stop getting it.
That’s why, in my coaching practice, we intentionally build feedback mechanisms that don’t rely on office politics or performance reviews. In some cases, I create a 360-style perspective my clients have never experienced before that’s grounded in real conversations, real patterns, and real impact.
In certain engagements, I’m also asked to gather and synthesize feedback from the people leaders work with. For many, it’s the first time they’ve received honest, usable feedback they can actually grow from. And I don’t filter, I’m not vague, and I don’t sugar-coat.
And it’s powerful.
It’s not harsh, but it is very clear.
If you’re curious what it would be like to lead with better mirrors, or you’re thinking about offering this kind of support to someone on your team, you’re not alone.