You sat through the two-day leadership intensive. You took the notes and nodded at the right moments. Maybe you even got a little misty during the vulnerability exercise! Three weeks later, you’re snapping at your kid over a missing sock and still delaying the conversation with your COO you’ve been avoiding for months.
The workshop gave you a spark, a framework, a roadmap, maybe even a breakthrough. But breakthroughs can’t survive without follow-throughs.
Research out of University College London found it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Not a weekend. Not a keynote. Sixty-six days of showing up, messing it up, and showing up again. Rewiring how you lead your team or your household takes more than one great session, no matter how good that session was.
Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer’s research shows people are 2-3 times more likely to follow through on a goal when they make a concrete “if-then” plan, versus just deciding to “be a better leader” or “stay calmer with the kids.” We all know that vague intentions disappear when we’re in the moment. Specific ones, discovered through conversations that get to the root of the goal, survive it.
Here’s what that looks like for those of us running a household and a team before 9am:
- Pick ONE behavior. Not five. One. (Your nervous system doesn’t do multitasking transformation, no matter what your calendar says!)
- Name your trigger. “When my direct report interrupts me in a 1:1, I pause three seconds before responding.” This is infinitely better than “I’ll be more patient,” which will never sustain.
- Practice it in the boring moments, not just the crisis ones. The grocery store and the carpool line both count!
- Track it for 66 days before you decide it’s not working. Give it the runway the research says it needs.
Your leadership development benefits from an inspiring afternoon but it needs a customized and specific plan small enough to get to and survive Tuesday, and the next Tuesday, and the next Tuesday…
This is exactly why I rarely do one-off workshops, or one-off sessions, with my clients. Real change, the kind that shows up in your boardroom and your kitchen, takes repetition, accountability, and someone in your corner for longer than a single session.
The spark got you in the room. Sustained, personalized practice is what gets you through the next 66 days. That’s the work.