In the game of life, we all make bad calls on the field. Things go sideways. Missed shots. Bad gameplans. Poor teaming. But if your instinct is to soldier on and lead like nothing happened, you’re gonna find yourself stuck on your own goal line.
Elite sports coaches must make high pressure calls in seconds, in real time, with an entire fanbase ready to roast them for it. You’d think the pressure would be in the moment. Wrong! The pressure is in what happens after the call that goes bad, when everyone is watching what you do next.
Most leaders skip that part entirely. They spiral into “I’m terrible at this” or bury the bad moment and pretend it never happened. Neither of those choices helps on the field, at work, or at home.
Here’s what actually does:
- Own the miss and do it quickly. High-pressure decisions rarely come with full information. You’re working with what you’ve got with people watching. Stop grading yourself on the outcome. Grade the process. Did you use the resources you had available to you the best way you knew how? If yes, that outcome was bad luck, not bad leadership. If no, name it, own it, and move on. Don’t marinate in it. Don’t spin. This goes for the missed deadline and the missed recital.
- Repair what the decision broke. Big calls can create friction. Someone disagreed, got overruled, or your kid is still a little cold about the recital. Go back to it. Not to relitigate, but to close the loop. “I know that landed hard, walk me through where you were coming from.” Trust is what determines how fast your team recovers, how much your kids tell you before it’s a bigger problem, and how much your partner believes “next time” is real. This step gives you data and goodwill.
- Fix the system, not just yourself. Ask why the decision got hard in the first place. Was information late? Was a role unclear? Was your calendar packed so tightly that any curveball turned into a crisis at home? Coaches don’t just replay the play. They change the play they run next time. Do the same with your meeting cadence! Do it with your childcare backup plan!
None of this is about becoming a leader, or a parent, who doesn’t miss. That person doesn’t exist. It’s about becoming one whose misses make the whole operation sharper next time, boardroom and kitchen table both. There’s magic in the misses, too.