“I’ll just keep my mouth shut because everyone else seems to really know what they’re talking about.”
“They won’t pay me more because they haven’t done it for anyone else.”
“I’ve worked so hard for what I have here. It’s not worth trying to build that somewhere else – I don’t have the time or energy.”
These are called stories. Is there some truth to them? Maybe. But maybe not.
Stories keep us trapped. They confine us to a world that’s not real, but rather a perceived reality. And we so easily convince ourselves of their truth.
Why stretch for what’s possible when it’s easier to believe our stories? They stroke our ego as we remind ourselves why we’re right, and that feels reassuring when things go wrong.
But Shayna, MY stories ARE the truth.
Ok.
Let’s just say for a moment, that something better is possible (and you know I believe it is).
Consider this powerful question.
What is really happening?
Strip things down to their simplest and truest form. Just the facts.
For example: let’s say you didn’t get that promotion you wanted.
That’s a fact: you didn’t get it.
What’s not a fact? – that you’re not great at what you do, or that someone else deserved it more, or that you shouldn’t try again.
Those are stories. Not facts.
See the difference?
Too often, we let the story become our fact. We let it reinforce our own insecurities and define how we live and see the world. How disempowering is that!?
Stop giving power to the story.
Start with the facts, and then consider new possibilities.
Want to try this yourself?
Take out a sheet of paper.
On the left side, write FACT. On the right side, write STORY.
On the FACT side, you may say, “I wasn’t selected to lead the new project team”. On the STORY side, you may say “I must not be qualified or valued enough to take on significant leadership roles and responsibilities within the organization.” Now cross out the story. It’s made up!
Facts are neutral. They exist without emotion. They’re neither good nor bad. They are real. And the sooner we can remove the thought we associate with the fact (the story), the sooner we can move forward. And that’s a fact.