Far too often, I see clients and friends struggle with feelings of emptiness or unhappiness after they’ve achieved some big “goal”. And far too often, I also see them struggle with feelings of emptiness or unhappiness in their journey to achieve the “goal”. They work so hard to get “the promotion”, or to hit some invisible benchmark that equals “success” that they end up feeling burnt out, untethered or just “meh” once they’re “done”.
Last week and in several of my recent podcasts and conversations, I’ve alluded to my belief that your goal isn’t really your goal.
What does that mean, exactly?
Well, when a client tells me they want to scale their company, that’s not their goal. When a client tells me they want a promotion, that’s not their goal. When a client tells me they want to figure out how to lead their teams better, that’s not their goal. And when a client tells me they need to find some work/life balance, that’s also not their goal.
What all of us are actually seeking is alignment with our values.
When we’re aligned with our values, we feel happy, we feel fulfilled and we feel satisfied. Some of us like the feeling of accomplishment. Others might prefer the feeling of freedom. Others may seek the feeling of connection and then others may find the most joy in humor.
THOSE FEELINGS are really the goal.
And the original goal? Well – that’s just ONE of the doors you believe will lead to that feeling.
THERE ARE OTHER DOORS THAT LEAD TO THE SAME FEELING! It doesn’t mean you abandon door #1, but it does mean that you can find true fulfillment and satisfaction (and maybe MORESO than what’s behind door #1!) in other ways, and sooner.
True success in life can be measured by the journey of exploring what’s behind the different doors, and finding where you can get that feeling you’re seeking starting now. There’s a misconception that we have to wait until we reach the goal to feel what we want to feel. NO! YOU CAN FEEL THAT FEELING NOW! How? Sometimes it’s exploring perspectives, sometimes it’s brainstorming alternatives that can happen sooner, and sometimes it’s focusing on what opportunities exist rather than what’s not working.
Now think about the feeling you’re seeking from one of your goals.
What’s one small step you can take on your journey TODAY to get closer to that feeling?
And if for some reason you don’t see any other doors, I bet you there’s a window somewhere.