Leadership isn’t about having the best answers, even though we’ve been taught that it is.
Most of the leaders I work with are smart, experienced, and deeply capable.
They see patterns quickly. They often know what will work.
So, when someone brings them a problem, they do what they’ve always done: They try to quickly fix it.
They give advice.
They offer a solution.
They move things forward.
Helpful? Yes.
Effective long term? Not always.
Giving advice feels good in the moment but it actually trains people to stop thinking for themselves.
Great leaders know that real leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room but rather asking the question that changes how people see the problem, and their role in fixing it. Questions like:
- What’s the real issue here?
- What have you already tried?
- What are you avoiding?
- What would “good enough” actually look like?
- What do you want (not what you think you should want)?
Those questions do something advice can’t. They build ownership and confidence.
They build leaders!
And let’s be honest – asking questions is harder because it requires patience, restraint and trust.
It means sitting in the pause instead of filling the silence, letting someone struggle just enough to grow and resisting the urge to rescue.
For parents in leadership roles, I know this hits close to home.
I love helping leaders step out of fixer mode and into question-asking mode so they build capable teams with more trust, and a lot less exhaustion.
The goal isn’t to be needed for your answers. It’s to create people (little and big!) who can find their own.