“I do it by myself!”. Those were the spirited words my daughter used to proclaim when she was just a toddler, charging headfirst into the world and asserting her independence. It started even before she could fully walk and talk. She was a true renegade from the start!
From a young age, we’re hardwired for independence, taught to figure things out by ourselves. Personally, I deeply appreciate the value of learning through hands-on experience. I admire individuals who make an earnest attempt to solve problems before seeking counsel. Nevertheless, there are instances when our determination to go it alone leads to spinning our wheels, squandering time and resources and even feeling ashamed to request assistance. We find ourselves embarrassed to admit our knowledge gaps and hesitant to disturb those who might possess the experience we lack. We’re too proud. We grapple with discomfort when faced with vulnerability and uncertainty.
Every one of my clients yearns for more than just the ordinary day-to-day blah hamster-wheel existence. They seek to navigate the intricacies of both their personal and professional lives with less stress, striving to attain, and even define, their unique version of success. They aspire to reshape their habits and disrupt their patterns, realizing that the status quo won’t get them anything different than their current situation. I often congratulate them for taking that initial step of reaching out to me because asking for help can be very scary.
You know what’s even scarier? Choosing to stay stuck because you’re unable to admit you need help.
Why struggle while other people succeed just because you’re afraid to ask for help?
As it turns out, “help” is not just a four-letter word. It’s your secret weapon.
One of the most significant obstacles I’ve observed in my clients, particularly those embarking on new ventures like starting a business or taking on a new job, is a reluctance to ask for help.
So, what can you do if the prospect of seeking assistance fills you with fear?
1. Self-Assess: Reflect on and challenge your fears regarding asking for help to understand it’s a sign of guts and growth, not weakness.
2. Start with Small Requests: Begin by seeking help on smaller tasks to build confidence gradually.
3. Assemble Your Crew: Surround yourself with mentors and peers who can provide guidance and support.
4. Prepare and Be Specific: Research thoroughly and be clear and specific when asking for assistance.
5. Broadcast Your Grand Plan: Share your long-term goals to help others understand the importance of their support.
6. Return the Favor: Consider offering your skills or help in return when seeking assistance.
7. Listen Like a Boss: Show appreciation and actively listen when receiving help to encourage continued support.
Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful step towards growth and success.